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The following is the first chapter in a true story.
When I came across xHamster in June of 2012, it offered me an experience far more engaging than a typical pornographic website. As an exhibitionist, having the option to create a profile to showcase my own videos, pictures, and stories while remaining safely cloaked behind the anonymity of the internet satisfied my long-repressed desires like nothing before it. Soon after joining, I learned that I could even broadcast my webcam to live audiences.
My early webcam shows were intended to be limited to female audiences, but as anyone who’s used the internet for more than five minutes knows, not everyone online is who they claim to be. Many of my “female” viewers turned out to be men, which initially disappointed and frustrated me. But eventually, my cravings for attention and interaction eclipsed my desire to connect with the elusive female unicorn, and I removed any restrictions on viewership.
Once-tame audiences quickly devolved into cum-starved hordes. Some would command me to stroke harder, others would beg to see me cum. And the more intensely I felt the urgency of their desires, the more fully my own were satisfied.
Before long, I even began giving in to the incessant requests for “C2C” or private shows with other men. After watching enough hard cocks spurt messy loads in my honor, those glorious eruptions began to captivate me. When live entertainment was unavailable, I found myself watching videos of men masturbating to explosive finishes, eventually needing to see that “money shot” in order to achieve my own orgasm.
A curiosity had been awakened, and my sexuality began rapidly evolving. My viewing preferences shifted from FFM to MMF, then double penetration and friendly fire started topping my searches. Once I began watching voyeuristic male locker room videos and reading stories of first times jacking with a friend, I knew experimentation was the inevitable next step.
I started browsing xHamster for local men with similar interests, which presented a myriad of new challenges. First, most people on xHamster don’t list a specific town as their location. Narrowing by state didn’t guarantee a reasonable travel distance. Second, a lot of men who are bi-curious are not comfortable stating that in their xHamster profiles. And finally, a lot of men looking to experiment are in relationship already or even married, which creates issues with scheduling and hosting.
But, after casting a wide enough net and exhaustive months of trial and error, I found one guy willing to meet me at a public park about twenty minutes away. It was the middle of a summer afternoon, and we were planning on meeting to play basketball as an “ice breaker” before deciding where to go next. I got in my truck and drove to the park, but as I got close, I started to panic. I ended up driving right past the park and returning home. I was overwhelmed with feelings of shame, but even more so defeat…
After that failure, I gave up on my search for a while and resigned myself to my “normal” monogamous heterosexual lifestyle until August of 2014, when my most recent messy breakup led me back to xHamster… where I met Nick.
Nick lived about 30 minutes from me, in an area I was very familiar with. Like a lot of curious guys, he talked about the possibility of including a female (his fiancé, Kym). I excused his indulgence, assuming he was just guarding a fragile heterosexuality with his talk of a threesome. We talked for several months, exchanging stories, fantasies, pictures (he even included some of Kym), and emails.
On Thursday, November 6, 2014, I woke up on my day off from work expecting to log into xHamster for some routine relief. When I logged in, I found Nick online. After a brief discussion of our similar agendas, he proposed we meet up… I’d been given a second chance, and I wasn’t going to screw this one up. I quickly agreed, and we decided his place would be our best option.
I was on autopilot from that moment on. With my last failure on replay in my mind, I kept moving toward my goal, knowing that any hesitation would give me an opportunity to back out. I showered, threw on clothes, and jumped in my truck. White knuckles gripped my steering wheel for the longest thirty minutes of my life. When I pulled into his driveway, my heart was already racing—begging me to turn around—but I parked and approached Nick’s door.
Nick greeted me at the door wearing a white t-shirt and maroon sweatpants, which was probably much more practical attire than my jeans. After a brief greeting that I was too nervous to remember, he led me to his living room. We sat at opposite ends of his couch, with his laptop on the coffee table open to a dark and grainy amateur xHamster video running windowed.
Without a word, or at least none that I remember hearing, Nick slid his waistband down and his already-hard cock sprung into his hand. His nonchalance only heightened my nervousness. I was paralyzed, just staring at him stroking his cock. Part of me still wanted to jump up and make a dash for the door, but fortunately, I unzipped my jeans and dug out my limp cock instead. I started tugging at it helplessly; it was an elastic little disappointment. Panic overwhelmed me.
Was I supposed to watch the video or Nick? The video was awful, but I didn’t dare look at Nick, afraid he’d see me struggling with my impotence. Please just let me get hard!
Without warning, Nick’s mouth descended on my soft little penis. His lips pulled at it, and to my relief, I felt it swelling. Harder and harder and… holy fuck, I was about to cum already! I pushed him off of me before I passed “the point of no return.” He collapsed back into his seat, and I dropped to my knees on the floor in front of him. I sucked at his cock with amateurish fervor, desperately trying to catch him up to my own near-finish.
With his head in my mouth, my mind now raced with the exhaustive list of things I had fantasized of doing before I exploded. I stood up, dropped my pants to the floor, kicked them off, and leaned over him. I braced myself against the back of the couch with one arm, pressing our slick throbbing cocks together with the other hand. My t-shirt kept falling in the way, so I clumsily stripped it off and tossed it aside.
The feel of his hot slippery cock sliding against mine was such a new and amazing feeling; it quickly brought me back to the edge. I sat back down in my seat hoping for a break, but Nick’s mouth found my cock again. I pushed him off when I got close again, telling him to work on himself a little.
I watched him as he sat back and stroked his rock-hard cock. My imagination previewed the end I wished for: his pulsing cock erupting thick hot cum my mouth. I’d dribble it onto my own cock, then stroke myself to completion. It took all the self-control I could muster to slow my own strokes in a futile effort to let Nick catch up. Each long, slow stroke brought me so dangerously close to an untimely finish that I even paused at the bottom just to delay a little longer.
But my self-control was no match for these overwhelming fantasies and amazing new feelings. Despite my best effort, my virginal excitement was too overpowering to contain. That familiar feeling had never felt so devastating. I desperately gripped the base of my shaft as tightly as I could, but there was no way to prevent what was about to happen. When I looked down and saw the first droplet of cum appear at the tip of my cock, I surrendered. My grip loosened into rhythmic strokes as I pumped out my premature cum.
As my cum escaped, it robbed me of any lingering desire and curiosity, leaving behind only disappointment and humiliation. My naked body melted into the couch. My cock melted in my hand. My cum melted on my stomach. My shame melted into renewed panic. I found myself unable to move again, even though I desperately wanted to flee.
Despite my depleted interest, I still couldn’t take my eyes off Nick’s cock. His now-furious strokes were enhanced by powerful thrusts from his hips. When his free hand pulled his t-shirt up to his chin, I knew his exhausting effort was about to pay off…
The first shot blasted from Nick’s cock with enough force to splash just beneath his chin. Spurt after spurt cascaded down his chest and stomach. I envied his glorious potency and regretted that it hadn’t been put to my fantasized use.
Though far messier than I was, Nick got up and retrieved a towel from the bathroom and gave it to me to clean up. I mopped up my cum, then got dressed. Nick met me in his kitchen, where we shared an awkward drink over comforting hyper-masculine conversation about the gym and working out. After a few minutes, we said our goodbyes…
It would be months before I’d see Nick again.
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